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Me time verses We time in a relationship; How it affects the relationship

It is natural that at some point in our daily lives, we all crave and need some personal time to reflect and think deeply about the different things happening within and around our lives. In fact some people lock themselves away while others hang out somewhere isolated, peaceful and quiet to think about some puzzling issues of life.

However, some people exaggerate this ‘me time’ thing. They want to have 80—90 per cent of their time as ‘me time, something that isn’t healthy for a relationship. But, you cannot entirely blame them because some are naturally loners.

Nonetheless, having a lot of ‘me time’ can sometimes send mixed signals to your spouse, forcing them to have doubts and question your commitment about the relationship. This is simply because we all know that spending more time with your mate is what continuously bonds you as a couple both emotionally and intimately.

But if you want to spend most of the time alone, then that can really be challenging for your partner. Therefore, much as you may enjoy spending most of your time alone, you need to create a balance between the time you spend alone and the time you spend with your better half.

On the other hand, as a partner, although it may be difficult to comprehend how someone in a great relationship would prefer to spend most of their time alone, you must also understand that socializing is not everyone’s strong suit. Some people are just not good at it and that’s why they will prefer more time alone than with you. Therefore, it is import that you understand your spouse before pushing them to engage into a new way of life, a life that they aren’t used to.

Sometimes, such a behavior may also have an underlying message especially from the female partners. It could be her way of suggesting her desire to take this relationship to the next level especially if you have been dating for some good time, perhaps a year or two.

She might want to know whether you’re are really serious with her or just enjoying the love ride and having fun especially if she is heading into her 30s or if her friends are getting married and not to mention, she might also be getting pressure from her family.

We all know that traditionally, it’s the guy’s role to ask for a girl’s hand in marriage. And she may interpret you not asking as a fear of commitment. Otherwise, why do you withdraw to a safe zone if things are actually going well for the two of you?

robert.k.circles@gmail.com 

What's New On Mikolo

What's New On Mikolo