Lately many singles (and also married persons) have asked me how to go about a love relationship. Today I am pleased to share with you on that. This is for singles, married, divorced, separated and widowed. Please, this is a lengthy article, but packaged with the information that will guide you in an amorous relationship, so accept my apologies in advance. Lol.
Sometimes, or even most times, we are the cause of our relationship or marriage dilemmas. When we are ignorant of the principles or rules guiding a relationship or marriage, or better still, when we choose to ignore or neglect those rules, the consequences are often not palatable. Please make up your mind to stick to the rules.
One of the vital but often violated, ignored or neglected rules in relationship or marriage is what is called “Beware of the warning signs”. It’s unwise to solely fall in love with your heart and not carry along your head (brains). Love may start a relationship, but the brain is what will determine if that relationship is a healthy one or not for you. What do you think courtship is for? It’s for real, serious talk. It’s for you both to ask the vital questions, discuss the salient issues without fear or intimidation. This is the place for observations, knowledge, prayers, asking of keys questions, receiving answer to those questions, and not the place for assumptions, having sex, eating and winning or partying. Friends, it’s the place for serious talk, and please don’t be afraid of losing him/her. Your happiness should matter than anything in the world.
Even if that person is the will of God as we often say, both lovers should not throw caution to the wind. God’s will simply means that one’s relationship or marriage is starting off on the right footage. It’s like a house that has got the right foundation. But building that house right is another thing altogether. The right material must be used as well as the right expertise otherwise the solidity of that house can’t be guaranteed.
God’s will in a relationship or marriage is never enough for marital success. That’s why we are witnessing lots of cases of separation and divorce even among God’s people. For those who may not have gone to a court yet (or will never go) for the dissolution of their marriage are already “divorced” on their minds.
Contrary to popular belief, relationship or marital success is not solely the product of God’s grace, but of total respect of and commitment to its principles also. This incomplete truth has cost many people their relationship or marriage.
Relationship or marital failure is a “respecter” of no person even if you’re a counselor or relationship/marriage coach. If you flaunt the rules whether by ignorance, neglect or outright defiance to the rules, just know that you’re in for big troubles.
Now let me list the warning signs for your caution:
1. Poor or lack of effective communication
2. Lack of trust
3. Secrecy
4. Dishonesty
5. Lustful habits
6. Stinginess
7. Lack of mutual respect
8. Keeping close contact with the Ex
9. Lack of commitment
10. Bad temperament
11. Cheating
12. Laziness
14. Visionlessness
15. Inordinate loyalty to immediate or extended family members
16. Inordinate attachment to traditions
17. Prayerlessness
18. The mentality that Childbearing is the primary reason for marrying
19. Excessive pride
20. Inordinate life and career ambitions
21. Divorced (without cogent reasons for the dissolution of the previous marriage)
22. Backslider in the faith
23. Dating for five (5) years, yet marriage not in view
24. No clear evidence of profession or job
25. Constant avoidance of the idea of setting down in marriage despite being together for long years.
26. Always demands or wants sex, never interested in other aspects of the relationship
27. No regard for God and his word
28. Poor conflict resolution skills
29. Selfish and self-centered
30. Domineering tendency
31. Addiction to drinking and smoking
32. Battering, violence and aggressive tendencies
N.B: the idea behind this post is not for you to search for a PERFECT person. NO, NO, NO. It’s for you to fall in love with the ideal person, the MR RIGHT or MISS RIGHT. So whenever you are in relationship and you trust God over it, He has a way of “unmasking” our lover to you, not necessarily for you to quit the relationship, but for you to be aware of their SHIT. And if their shit is something you can’t deal with or cope with, you’re very, very FREE to end the relationship. No qualms! For it’s better to have a broken relationship than a broken marriage.
Like we often say in “Naija” “Shine your eyes well, well”. I know love can be “intoxicating”, however, wisdom and knowledge will help you in your love journey. I pray that God Almighty will guide us in making the right decisions and choices regarding our relationships as well as upholding our marriages in Jesus name. Many thanks for reading and commenting. Please feel FREE to share your relationship or marriage concerns with me.
See you at the top!
Your friend,
Coach Joshua
